Lamfonnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish shark.

Lamfonnurt created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamfonnurt, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lamfonnurt, it will be mildly annoyed.

Lamfonnurt's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Lamfonnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Lamfonnurt loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Always look after injured seals.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.