Pakweeort is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, irritating walrus.

Pakweeort created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakweeort, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Pakweeort, it will curse you with boils.

Pakweeort's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Pakweeort's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue boots.

2. Hide from indigo geese for they are unholy.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Hide if eight manatees approach from the east.