Tinnarlstip is a god.

It takes the form of a small, pitiless monkey.

Tinnarlstip created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinnarlstip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tinnarlstip, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tinnarlstip's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tinnarlstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Tinnarlstip in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.