Flapkonwee is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, sapient ant.

Flapkonwee created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapkonwee, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flapkonwee, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flapkonwee's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Flapkonwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not cook food in pots.