Ortripyarp Jinfossquart is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, loving wombat.

Ortripyarp Jinfossquart created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortripyarp Jinfossquart, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ortripyarp Jinfossquart, it will boil you in a big pot.

Ortripyarp Jinfossquart's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Ortripyarp Jinfossquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never paint your hands brown.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Worship no other gods but Ortripyarp Jinfossquart.

5. Never wear rings.