Wontargaf is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unjust dugong.

Wontargaf created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wontargaf, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wontargaf, it will not invite you to parties.

Wontargaf's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wontargaf's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Put Wontargaf first in all things.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not chop down trees.