Vanpophub Bomsandkan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, self-assured shrew.

Vanpophub Bomsandkan created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vanpophub Bomsandkan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vanpophub Bomsandkan, it will remove you from existence.

Vanpophub Bomsandkan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Vanpophub Bomsandkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Vanpophub Bomsandkan must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.