Bemsandbod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty wolf.

Bemsandbod created the Sunflower Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemsandbod, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bemsandbod, she will destroy your home solar system.

Bemsandbod's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bemsandbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.