Jopflankom is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, deceitful wyrm.

Jopflankom created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopflankom, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jopflankom, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Jopflankom's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Jopflankom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near seals while wearing orange scarves and balancing six zinc spheres on your legs.

2. Never think ill of sick ants.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near otters while wearing blue corsets.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.