Artomtbet is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witty bear.

Artomtbet created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artomtbet, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Artomtbet, he will be very sad.

Artomtbet's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Artomtbet's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Artomtbet on top of all buildings.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about enzymes.