Yarpfenlin is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, strong capybara.

Yarpfenlin created a quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpfenlin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yarpfenlin, he will turn you into a goat.

Yarpfenlin's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Yarpfenlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum field theory.

2. Erect four nickel sculptures of Yarpfenlin on top of important buildings.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never look at black holes.