Pibponfenmancepjadyimxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, amazing parrot.

Pibponfenmancepjadyimxuc created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibponfenmancepjadyimxuc, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pibponfenmancepjadyimxuc, he will turn you into a worm.

Pibponfenmancepjadyimxuc's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Pibponfenmancepjadyimxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Run away from black eagles, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near voles while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing five silver spheres on your chest.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never talk about fire.