Somlatarf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, boastful cat.

Somlatarf created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somlatarf, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Somlatarf, she will have a low opinion of you.

Somlatarf's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Somlatarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Never wear green corsets.