Negzogjapdag is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic gorilla.

Negzogjapdag created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Negzogjapdag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Negzogjapdag, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Negzogjapdag's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Negzogjapdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Negzogjapdag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.