Funkaprow is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying alligator.

Funkaprow created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funkaprow, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Funkaprow, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Funkaprow's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Funkaprow's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Funkaprow.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. You must love Funkaprow.

4. Never feed lots of pineapples to horses while wearing orange ear rings.

5. Always obey Funkaprow's priests.