Gatgadwat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonourable dove.

Gatgadwat created silver three million years ago.

If you believe in Gatgadwat, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gatgadwat, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gatgadwat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gatgadwat's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never jump in the presence of bats.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. You must love Gatgadwat.

5. Do not covet oxen.