Gadvonklim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, overgenerous dove.

Gadvonklim created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadvonklim, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gadvonklim, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gadvonklim's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gadvonklim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics.

2. You must love Gadvonklim.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never feed lemons to badgers while wearing rings.

5. Learn five new languages a year.