Xuckyartnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, benevolent dog.

Xuckyartnutt created parasitic wasps four years ago.

If you believe in Xuckyartnutt, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xuckyartnutt, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Xuckyartnutt's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Xuckyartnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Put Xuckyartnutt first in all things.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xuckyartnutt.

3. You must never eat peas.

4. Never wear pink kilts.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.