Banfitren is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, generous meerkat.

Banfitren created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banfitren, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Banfitren, she will turn you into a slug.

Banfitren's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Banfitren's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Banfitren in the centre of the settlement.

2. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Do not eat nuts.