Stigbarnvid is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, ruthless coyote.

Stigbarnvid created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigbarnvid, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stigbarnvid, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Stigbarnvid's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Stigbarnvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Never bounce near aardvarks.