Jabkondod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, weak hippopotamus.

Jabkondod created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabkondod, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jabkondod, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jabkondod's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Jabkondod's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near ducks.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Never paint your head violet.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.