Yattkoprot Gessbigbon is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, irritating aardvark.

Yattkoprot Gessbigbon created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattkoprot Gessbigbon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yattkoprot Gessbigbon, it will turn you into a duck.

Yattkoprot Gessbigbon's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Yattkoprot Gessbigbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Never mention eagles.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always look after injured dolphins.