Cumjoptal is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, overgenerous skunk.

Cumjoptal created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumjoptal, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cumjoptal, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cumjoptal's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Cumjoptal's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near gulls.

2. Never wear green coats.

3. Cumjoptal must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never play with disobedient children.