Lidhigpit Volzognut is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, weak mole.

Lidhigpit Volzognut created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lidhigpit Volzognut, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lidhigpit Volzognut, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Lidhigpit Volzognut's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Lidhigpit Volzognut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near frogs while wearing cyan corsets and balancing nine gold spheres on your hands.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never feed oranges to great tits while wearing ear rings.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.