Sankemhan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody seal.

Sankemhan created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sankemhan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sankemhan, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sankemhan's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Sankemhan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Put Sankemhan first in all things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sankemhan.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Pray towards the west.