Betyamfen is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid swan.

Betyamfen created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betyamfen, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Betyamfen, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Betyamfen's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Betyamfen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Never wear rings.

5. You must love Betyamfen.