Botquagjipxemlanceb Bifmabsis is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, intelligent turtle.

Botquagjipxemlanceb Bifmabsis created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botquagjipxemlanceb Bifmabsis, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Botquagjipxemlanceb Bifmabsis, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Botquagjipxemlanceb Bifmabsis' most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Botquagjipxemlanceb Bifmabsis' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about dark matter.

5. Retreat if seven porpoises approach from the west.