Nelgabnurt Tunkanhom Bogwodkon is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent squid.

Nelgabnurt Tunkanhom Bogwodkon created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelgabnurt Tunkanhom Bogwodkon, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nelgabnurt Tunkanhom Bogwodkon, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nelgabnurt Tunkanhom Bogwodkon's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Nelgabnurt Tunkanhom Bogwodkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Never feed lots of corn to seals while wearing yellow dresses.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about optics near moths while wearing purple trousers and balancing nine silicon spheres on your arms.