Lapfligflapfomyattjighigsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, intelligent donkey.

Lapfligflapfomyattjighigsaf created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapfligflapfomyattjighigsaf, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lapfligflapfomyattjighigsaf, it will be very unhappy.

Lapfligflapfomyattjighigsaf's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Lapfligflapfomyattjighigsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are not to be trusted.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

5. Do not kill turtles.