Somgepflam Bissfomjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, caring armadillo.

Somgepflam Bissfomjarn created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somgepflam Bissfomjarn, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Somgepflam Bissfomjarn, he will think nothing of it.

Somgepflam Bissfomjarn's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Somgepflam Bissfomjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Somgepflam Bissfomjarn.

3. Always treat bats with great respect.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Never talk about optics near pigs while wearing gray tights and balancing five tin spheres on your hands.