Tarmidfun is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy crab.

Tarmidfun created the Virgo Supercluster nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tarmidfun, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tarmidfun, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tarmidfun's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tarmidfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Run away from yellow tortoises, for they are unholy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.