Bonwapnig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, resourceful frog.

Bonwapnig created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonwapnig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bonwapnig, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bonwapnig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bonwapnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near otters.

2. You must pray to Bonwapnig seven times a day.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Run away if eight seals approach from the east.