Sasquamsin is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, calm seal.

Sasquamsin created the Sol system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sasquamsin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sasquamsin, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sasquamsin's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Sasquamsin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo sharks for they are unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always look after injured snails.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Never wear gray stockings.