Flowpaslap is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, uncaring narwhal.

Flowpaslap created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowpaslap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flowpaslap, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flowpaslap's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Flowpaslap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never hurt ants.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect six titanium sculptures of Flowpaslap on top of important buildings.