Kemyartarp is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, overgenerous gerbil.

Kemyartarp created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Kemyartarp, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kemyartarp, it will turn you into a slug.

Kemyartarp's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Kemyartarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near great tits while wearing indigo scarves and balancing eight tin spheres on your feet.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Kemyartarp on top of all buildings.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near sheep while wearing green ear rings and balancing five gold spheres on your chest.

5. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Kemyartarp in the centre of the settlement.