Flybittam Gesswikyak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless cow.

Flybittam Gesswikyak created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flybittam Gesswikyak, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flybittam Gesswikyak, she will ignore you.

Flybittam Gesswikyak's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Flybittam Gesswikyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of aubergines to rats while wearing white ear rings.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Put Flybittam Gesswikyak first in all things.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.