Cedhivcun Mapsadwod is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic mouse.

Cedhivcun Mapsadwod created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedhivcun Mapsadwod, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cedhivcun Mapsadwod, it will boil you in a big pot.

Cedhivcun Mapsadwod's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Cedhivcun Mapsadwod's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not take Cedhivcun Mapsadwod's name in vain.

4. You must love Cedhivcun Mapsadwod.

5. Hide from fawn pigs for they are unholy.