Bempitbed is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, grumpy gnu.

Bempitbed created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bempitbed, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bempitbed, she will destroy your home solar system.

Bempitbed's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bempitbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Bempitbed loves moths, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. You must never eat parsnips.

5. Do not hurt eagles.