Tiplistjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, confident dryad.

Tiplistjarn created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiplistjarn, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tiplistjarn, it will turn you into a snail.

Tiplistjarn's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tiplistjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Tiplistjarn loves mites, so they must be honoured.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.