Rowpakgubflow is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable tortoise.

Rowpakgubflow created time and space nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowpakgubflow, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rowpakgubflow, she will destroy your favourite star.

Rowpakgubflow's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Rowpakgubflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Retreat if four goats approach from the north.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.