Yartfembap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthoughtful raven.

Yartfembap created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartfembap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yartfembap, she will boil you in a big pot.

Yartfembap's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Yartfembap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Yartfembap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.