Dimnuttstig Cip is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic walrus.

Dimnuttstig Cip created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Dimnuttstig Cip, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dimnuttstig Cip, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dimnuttstig Cip's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Dimnuttstig Cip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Never eat peanuts.

3. You must pray to Dimnuttstig Cip three times a day.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Put Dimnuttstig Cip first in all things.