Arfzim is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast bear.

Arfzim created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Arfzim, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arfzim, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Arfzim's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Arfzim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Arfzim first in all things.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not kill cats.

4. Always obey Arfzim's priests.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.