Dubpagmilnil is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless hedgehog.

Dubpagmilnil created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubpagmilnil, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dubpagmilnil, she will turn you into a goat.

Dubpagmilnil's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Dubpagmilnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. You must pray to Dubpagmilnil seven times a day.

3. Never feed onions to snakes while wearing shoes.

4. Bats are not to be trusted.

5. You must love Dubpagmilnil.