Tigcapcan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish dryad.

Tigcapcan created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Tigcapcan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tigcapcan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tigcapcan's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tigcapcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Never skip near porpoises.