Cemmabgep is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciful fly.

Cemmabgep created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemmabgep, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cemmabgep, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cemmabgep's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Cemmabgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cemmabgep's priests.

2. Do not kill hamsters.

3. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not cook food in pots.