Nulafflig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing monkey.

Nulafflig created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Nulafflig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nulafflig, it will turn you into a hamster.

Nulafflig's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Nulafflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of onions to tapirs while wearing purple shoes.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. You must love Nulafflig.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Do not hurt moths.