Zaggatgar is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, sage snail.

Zaggatgar created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Zaggatgar, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zaggatgar, it will destroy your home solar system.

Zaggatgar's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Zaggatgar's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zaggatgar first in all things.

2. Always look after injured great tits.

3. Never wear blue hats.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always help sick aardvarks.