Dapnabnart is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omniscient gorilla.

Dapnabnart created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Dapnabnart, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dapnabnart, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dapnabnart's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dapnabnart's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Always help tortoises.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about moons.