Mitkapdid is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, confident cobra.

Mitkapdid created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitkapdid, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mitkapdid, he will turn you into a mouse.

Mitkapdid's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Mitkapdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. Do not take Mitkapdid's name in vain.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not covet oxen.