Haskimbunsadlak is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unjust toad.

Haskimbunsadlak created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haskimbunsadlak, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Haskimbunsadlak, she will send minions to preach to you.

Haskimbunsadlak's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Haskimbunsadlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never hurt birds.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about spacetime near porpoises while wearing yellow corsets.