Tifhomduss is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, compassionate frog.

Tifhomduss created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifhomduss, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tifhomduss, she will remove you from existence.

Tifhomduss' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tifhomduss' Holy Commandments

1. Put Tifhomduss first in all things.

2. Do not take Tifhomduss' name in vain.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Never sit in the presence of swans.

5. Run away if eight nematodes approach from the west.